For as long as I can remember, it has just been me and my girls. Being a single mom wasn’t the plan, but after my husband, their father passed away, I was forced to make a new plan. They were still young when it happened. My oldest, was 11 years old and the twins were turning 8 years old. Too young to experience such loss, but somehow, we made it through. While it was hard, and still is at times, we are closer because of it. The bond we have is much deeper than words can explain. My daughters are my lifeline, my best friends, my heart and soul, and everything in me that is good.
If you’re a parent, then you know exactly what I am talking about. Watching your children grow is one of the greatest joys you will ever get to experience. From babies so dependent on your care, with little fingers and toes, to adults, that have come into their own, fully grown. It is an unbelievable journey, but what happens when that journey comes to an end, and a new one begins? What happens when your kids leave home?
A New Journey
Now that my daughters have grown into adults, they are embarking on their own journey, one that takes them from my home to one that they can call their own. While I am proud of their accomplishments, I am sad that the family dynamic has changed.
Now that my oldest daughter bought her first home. what does that mean to me, as a mother? Well, the life I knew as a mother for so many years, 26 to be exact, has changed forever. As a parent, it is our job, our duty, to prepare our children to be independent, successful adults, but deep down do we really want that? Do we want them to forge their own path, and leave us behind? Do we want them to leave the nest? Of course. But, we also want to keep them our babies for much longer than we can.
A Change in Job Description
It’s funny how a parents’ job description changes from one year to the next. Always evolving. Transforming from one thing to another. Sometimes making it hard to keep up, but we adapt. Change is one thing, but your kids leaving home, well that takes some time getting used to. While I have always taken care of my daughters with food, shelter, clothing and so much more, it’s time for me to step back and let them do for themselves. The crazy thing is when you finally do take the backseat, you can see how much of you is actually in them.
When I visit my oldest daughter in her new home, I see things in her that I never saw when she was under my roof. Maybe she didn’t have the drive or freedom to be herself when I was running the show, or maybe I didn’t let her, but I see her more excited about life and the ability she has to make her house a home. It’s strange to have her wait on me when I visit, but seeing what a great caretaker she is, gives me so much joy. When she lived home her room was a mess, and every room she entered for that matter, but now, in her own home, it is pristine. She is very mindful of the fact that not only does she want her home to be clean and neat, but there is no longer someone to clean up after her. Because of this, she recently thanked me for everything I’ve done. Taking the time to acknowledge just how hard life can be. Not only did she realize how much work it is to take care of a house, she also realized how much of your blood, sweat, tears and money it takes to make it a home.
Helping Your Kids Get Started
While I still have two at home, they will leave soon. They are in their last years of college, and already taking about moving when they are done. I guess I will be better prepared the second and third time around, with plenty of practice from my first. The one thing I wish I could do, but as a single mother it can be hard, is help them more financially. Since they are grown, it is no longer about buying a new pair of jeans or a bathing suit, and more about helping them get started in life, but I want to do that for them. I used title loans in the past to address my financial emergencies, and I may need to do it again. This time it will be to help my children get started in life.